Next month will be my one year after downsizing. But sometimes I missed my Garden, and other Items that had so much memories in my almost 90 years in Planet Earth. I feel very lucky to be able bring with me a few of the things I previously owned here at THD. I have discussed items I have saved such as my indoor and outdoor plants as well as some of my antique furnitures, paintings and art collection in my previous blog just recently. Here's a story from my FB page that I can certainly identified with.
"When my mom was cleaning out her house over 23 years ago to sell it, I wasn't very sympathetic over her attachments to things. I would go over on weekends to help her, and we would go through things...things for a yard sale, things to donate, things to throw away. I would usually get upset over how long it was taking her to decide. For instance, we were going through kitchen cabinets, and she spent 20 minutes looking at a black iron kettle with a lid. Finally, I said, “Mom, at this rate it is going to take us another 2 years.”
She told me that her mother used to make meals in that kettle and leave them at the doorsteps of neighbors during the Depression. Mom would deliver them, and then they would reappear back on her porch with an apron or a wood carving; something in return for the meal. I realized that everything that my mom was going through was really a reliving of her life.
If you are reading this and are under the age of 60, you won't get it. You haven't lived long enough. Most of you have not had to move your parents into a nursing home, or broken up their home. You haven't lived long enough to realize that the hours you spend picking out the right cabinets, or the perfect tile will not be what matters in the later years. It will be the handmade toothbrush holder or a picture that you took on vacation.
So, if your parents are downsizing, and moving to smaller places, or selling a home, give your mom and even your dad a break. For those things that you don't understand why they can’t just pitch, and why you think you know what needs to be tossed or saved, give them a little time to make their decisions. They are saying goodbye to their past, and realizing that they are getting ready for their end of life, while you are just beginning your life.
As I have been going through things, it is amazing just how hard it is to get rid of objects. But, life goes on, and you realize they are just things, but sometimes things comfort us. So give your parents or grandparents a break. Listen to their stories, because in 40 years, when you are going through those boxes and the memories come back, it will be hard to get rid of those reminders of precious moments that make up a life well lived.
You just don't have a clue until it happens to you, and then you will remember how you rushed them, and it will make you sad, especially if they are already gone, and you can't say, 'I’m sorry...I just didn't understand until it was too late." Melissa Vaughan
Lastly, enjoy this recent photo of the Aurora Borealis ( Northern Lights) from Norway
3 comments:
David, this is a very touching article and one I can totally relate to. Downsizing for Carol and me was emotionally challenging. Fortunately, we had a wonderful support system during the downsizing process. John Larimore
I think everyone at Heritage has had to downsize and choose just what to bring and what won't fit. After you are here a few years, it doesn't matter that much any more. Heritage was our second downsize - the house to a very large apt and then across the country to Heritage! For us, the most important thing is to be well,to enjoy yourself,
and enjoy your new life at Heritage.
Linda Botton
I had a friends and family circle in Rossmoor -- we walked the golf course, had periodic gatherings in our yard -- and I hope to continue to create a like circle here at THD. Dean
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